EVERYDAY life & ADVENTURE COACH
Do hard things on purpose
I coach people who are done waiting for the life they actually want.
The mountain is optional. The bravery is not.
You are the one everyone leans on
The person who handles it. Who shows up. Who has the answer, the casserole, the ride to the airport.
And somewhere underneath all that competence is a quieter voice asking “when will it be your turn?'“
Your life is not obviously falling apart. That is exactly the problem. It seems fine, and fine has become a very comfortable place to hide.
we make hard decisions every day
It might be a mountain
Sometimes the hard thing is physical, and there is nothing like your own body proving you wrong.
It is more often a Tuesday
The conversation you have avoided for six years. The class you signed up for and skipped. The boundary you have never once held.
Either way, you choose it
Most people stumble into hard things. We are going to do them deliberately, with a date on the calendar and someone in your corner.
Why Work With Tonya
Certified life and personal development coach. √
Twenty years designing programs, writing curriculum, and facilitating rooms before I ever called myself a coach. √
Four hundred lesson plans written as a director of education. √
Curriculum and facilitator training for a statewide learning collaborative, then program coach, then coaching the coaches. √
Teaching what I needed first. √
I have done the thing I am asking you to do. Six times, with a mortgage and children and people depending on me. I am not coaching you from a life that made it easy.
I am not impressed by the thing keeping you stuck. I have heard it, and some version of it is probably mine. That is not dismissal. It means you do not have to spend three sessions convincing me it is real.
I will go to the belief, not the behavior. Anyone can help you build a plan. The plan is not why you are stuck. We go to the story underneath, where it came from, and whether it was ever yours.
I push, and you can always say no. Every dare is chosen together. I will take you one notch further than you would take yourself, and you keep the right to decline. That notch is the work.
I am honest with you. Warmly, but I will not pretend a plan is working when it is not. You already have people who tell you what you want to hear.
Using my ON PURPOSE METHOD, I have helped people:
Get back on the partner track after being pulled from it
Hear hard feedback about how they land on people, and actually change it
Trace negative self talk back to where it started, usually decades earlier
Ask out loud for what they want at work, including a job that did not exist yet
Get promoted, repeatedly, by people who had already written their ceiling
Rebuild relationships with colleagues who had stopped wanting them in the room
Build systems at home that hold without one person running all of them
Separate their own beliefs from the ones inherited from parents
Walk away from something successful that was no longer right
Return to work after a long absence and feel like they belong there again
The On Purpose Method explained
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What is the story that is keeping you comfortable? Where did it come from, and is it even yours?
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One specific hard thing. Not one day, not someday. This week, with a date on it.
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Committed action before you feel ready. I will be there during it all, not just before.
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You tell the new story out loud. Now you have evidence. Then we raise the bar.
What happens on the braver side?
It’s not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.
The hardest mountain to climb is the one within.
There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.
It’s not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves. The hardest mountain to climb is the one within. There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.
how can we work together?
THE BRAVE SIX
For the woman who has thought about this for years.
You know what the thing is. You have known for a while. What you have not had is someone who will stay with you through the part where it gets hard and you want to quietly let it go.
Thirteen sessions over six months. Weekly at first, then spaced out as you steady. One assigned personal challenge between every session, chosen by you, held by me. Voice message support in between, because the moment you need me is rarely on a Tuesday at two.
This is the deepest version of the work and the one that changes the most.
THE Dare club
For the woman who does better when someone is watching.
Eight to twelve women. One call a week. One personal challenge a week, getting bigger as you go. A private thread where you report back, which is honestly the part that makes people actually do it.
You will be braver in this group than you would be alone. That is not a weakness, that is how most of us are built.
By week eight you will have done eight things you were avoiding and you will have a small group of women who watched you do it.
adventure days
For the woman who needs proof, not a plan.
We do one genuinely hard physical thing together in the morning. You will not love all of it. That is the design.
Then we sit down and look at what you told yourself when it got hard, because you say that same thing in other rooms. We find out where it came from. You leave with one commitment and a date.
No experience needed. Most women who come have never done anything like this.
You do not have to blow up your life. You do have to stop abandoning yourself inside it.
Allow me to work with you to…
DREAM
Your greatest potential oftentimes begins with a dream. The longing and desire for something different. Something bigger than you’ve been allowing yourself to imagine. Let’s work together to excavate it.
SHIFT
Can you feel the inner shifts necessary to turn your vision into reality? I’m talking about that restlessness that makes you uncomfortable in your own skin. Let’s work together to turn that vision into reality.
BECOME
By the time we are done, your outside will finally match the inside. Imagine a life where you’ve broken free from your comfort zone, from limiting beliefs, embraced your authentic self, and created impactful change. Let’s co-create this life together.